


Gentle Sorrow

by Oakwyrm



Category: Thrilling Intent (Web Series)
Genre: Hurt/Comfort, Nightmares, Other
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-11-01
Updated: 2016-11-01
Packaged: 2018-08-28 11:26:41
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,242
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8444047
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Oakwyrm/pseuds/Oakwyrm
Summary: Gregor knows how to deal with his usual nightmares. They'll shake him, sure, but in the long run he knows how to deal with them. This? This he does not know how to deal with.





	

**Author's Note:**

> This fic _was_ originally going to be entirely hurt, no comfort. But I'm not completely heartless and also I had ideas to make it better.

Gregor Hartway was no stranger to nightmares. The fact of the matter was he found it weird if he didn't have at least one every night. But his nightmares weren't supposed to be like this. They were supposed to be about fire. About the Outriders, about the executions, about monsters tearing him limb from limb. They were supposed to be painful in a familiar way.

He called out. It might have been a desperate scream of “no”, it might have been no words at all. He couldn't tell, he was too preoccupied by the blind panic coursing through him. It did no good, of course. He was far too far away to get to Zalvetta in time.

Zalvetta screamed, his face twisted in pain as the iron rod drove its' way through him. His breathing grew choppy and he coughed. The dark red blood leaking out of the corner of his mouth made a stark contrast against his deathly pale skin. Gregor felt sick. He wanted to run. To Zalvetta or from him? He didn't know. He couldn't move.

Zalvetta's eyes turned to him and Gregor flinched. The look in those hazel eyes was painful. He looked sad, he looked like he was apologising for something. Gregor's entire body jerked backwards. They weren't supposed to apologise. They were supposed to blame him, to hiss poisonous words of betrayal and accusations cowardice in his ears until he couldn't bear the weight of it.

Gregor closed his eyes and covered his ears but he could not escape the sight of Zalvetta,  life now gone as he fell backwards onto the stone. It was no use, even with his eyes shut tight he couldn't escape the sight of Zalvetta's eyes.  So unbearably gentle and sad.

“No.” Gregor's voice sounded broken to his own ears. “No this isn't right.” He moved forwards slowly, stumbling steps growing faster until he was running, falling to his knees at Zalvetta's side. He couldn't be dead. He couldn't.

Gregor's vision began to blur, tears threatening to fall. With shaking hands he reached out to take Zalvetta's hand in his. The warmth that had once been there was gone. Zalvetta was cold and still.

Gregor bowed his head, a broken sob crawling its' way out of his throat as the tears finally began to roll down his cheeks.

“I'm sorry,” he whispered.

“No.” It was the merest hint of a whisper but Gregor would know that voice anywhere. His head snapped abruptly up and he stared at the lifeless corpse in front of him, but it stayed just as it was, a lifeless corpse.

A cold hand took a gentle hold of his cheek and turned his head until he was looking up at a vague outline of a person. Zalvetta shook his head, raising his other hand to gently brush a strand of hair out of Gregor's face.

“I'm sorry,” he said. His voice sounded far away. It held an echoing quality, as if Gregor was hearing it from far away through a tunnel. “I miscalculated. I'm sorry I couldn't stay with you.” Gregor drew an unsteady breath.

“I should have done something,” he insisted.

“You've done enough,” he said. Gregor closed his eyes but his tears still fell.

Softly cold lips settled against his. They stole his breath and for the merest moment Gregor thought that that would, indeed, be a just death. Whether that was true or not his breath returned to him as Zalvetta drew away.

“Would you do me one favour?” he asked.

“Please, Zalvetta don't-” Gregor began but Zalvetta cut him off before he could finish his sentence.

“Would you remember me?” Zalvetta's form began to become more faded as the wind picked up, erasing his presence and carrying the last of him away. Gregor could have sworn that, as he was fading, he had smiled a small, sad smile.

***

Gregor woke crying. He took a hold of his pillow and curled up around it as he sobbed, letting his tears soak into the pillowcase. He shook, rough sobs clawing at his throat as he tried to calm himself. Tried to make sense of what had just happened.

Someone stirred beside him and he tried to quiet his cries, to no avail.

“Gregor?” Zalvetta sounded tired but as soon as he managed to take stock of the situation he snapped abruptly into wakefulness. He stood up and walked around the bed so he could crouch down beside Gregor's shaking form.

“Gregor can you hear me?” he asked.

Gregor drew a deep breath and looked up. Even in the darkness of the room he could still see Zalvetta. Blond hair, hazel eyes, brow furrowed ever so slightly and alive, definitely very alive. He opened his mouth to speak but found he couldn't make his tongue obey him.

Zalvetta reached towards Gregor and when his touch didn't make the fighting man flinch or shy away he got back into bed and gathered Gregor up in his arms.

“Why...” Gregor's voiced was small as he curled up against Zalvetta. “How are you here?” he asked. Zalvetta began to gently undo the braid that Gregor had put his hair in for the night.

“I'm visiting, remember?” he said. “I arrived late yesterday.” Gregor tried to get his scattered thoughts back on track as Zalvetta began to comb his hair out.

He remembered the ship. It had been very late. Almost so late that it was today. The moon had been hidden by the clouds and Zalvetta had blended with the darkness so well that Gregor almost didn't see him at first. He nodded quietly.

“Can you talk?” Zalvetta asked. Gregor hesitated for a moment. He probably could, if he really needed to, but he would rather not. He shook his head. Zalvetta continued to quietly comb through his hair.

A few silent minutes passed during which Gregor began to slowly come to grips with the nightmare. It was so very different from the other ones. The other ones were violently accusatory, sometimes going so far as to have the people he'd lost kill him in revenge. This one had been gentle. A heart wrenching sorrow so great that he couldn't fully understand it but no violence, no vengeance, no roaring fires. He shuddered, his breath hitching as he felt the tears threaten to begin again.

“I'm here,” Zalvetta said. “I'll listen if you think you can talk about it.” Gregor adjusted his position a little, pulling away so he could look at Zalvetta.

“You died,” he said, taking Zalvetta's hand in his. An exact mimicry of the movement he had made in the nightmare. Zalvetta remained silent and listened. “But you didn't blame me. You died and you asked me to-” Gregor was shaking again.

“You asked me to remember you,” his voice was wavering, almost a whisper. Zalvetta moved closer to him, taking Gregor's free and placing it above his heart.

Gregor felt the steady beat beneath his fingers, the rise and fall of Zalvetta's chest as he breathed, the rhythmic thump that meant blood was still flowing through his veins.

“That right there? It means I'm still alive,” Zalvetta said. Gregor nodded slowly.

He moved forwards, closing what small distance still existed between them. Zalvetta's lips were warm and alive. Their breaths intertwined as Gregor pulled away, leaning his forehead against Zalvetta's. He breathed out slowly as he shook off the last clinging remnants of the nightmare.

**Author's Note:**

> EEEY I'm not a completely horrible person! They're both alive this time! And happy... ish


End file.
